One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.
~ Paulo Coelho, 1947-
My name is Dee and I’m a transplanted Texan living in London (England!) for 20 plus years. I love this wonderful, bounteous city and was thoroughly enjoying it when…
B-O-O-M! Hodgkin’s Lymphoma 4b. It took me a while to marry that up: Hodgkin Lymphoma = CANCER. To me, Hodgkin’s was an imaginary disease mentioned with a sharp intake of breath during CSI New York.
The start of the journey was close but I am still here. The following years have been a loop of treatment, remission, treatment, remission, treatment, remission recovery, relapse, treatment, remission, treatment, remission, recovery, relapse, treatment, remission and so on. It feels like I’ve had every scan, prod, poke and chemo possible.
I feel a desperate sense of time running out. Recently, while debating bucket lists (pro or con?), I realised that there was something I forgot to do. Write. Not for fame but because I love words, and combinations of words, and stories that make you laugh and weep and feel. It’s sad that it took this ever-threatening disease to remind me of my passion.
I called the site It will or it won’t… because I came to understand how much of this journey is beyond my control. Treatment will work, or it won’t. I will live, or I won’t. I have limited influence on either outcome. It’s uncomfortable and painful but nonetheless true.
Along the way, I also learned not to look too far ahead. That what matters is today.
I learned to do things now.
And I started this blog. It’s about life, living, Hodgkin’s lymphoma and whatever else takes my fancy.
Thank you for reading.