Dr Google? I should know better

The shock of diagnosis was awful and dealing with months of chemo brain and chemo crashes was the best I could manage. Once recovered I looked up all I could about Hodgkin lymphoma, stage 4b and all those unfavourable factors they said I had. Dr Google wasn’t reassuring but I hoped for the best, returned to work and got on with life.

Less than a year later I relapsed. I didn’t visit Dr Google again but with HL2’s harsh, toxic regimes I assumed that the slim shot narrowed and I didn’t want to know how much. It was harder to dust myself off the second time but I eventually grew stronger, returned to work and felt good. I thought I might get lucky.

Nope. HL3 – the third time in three years. Not looking good.

Others warn me a difficult discussion with my transplant team so today I consulted Dr Google to prepare. Limiting myself to reputable sites I looked beyond the general information to primary research. I knew I wouldn’t find the real answers I sought – whether I will survive or for how long. It would not – could not – tell me whether the benefits will outweigh the sacrifice. I cruised straight past the warning that said STOP READING NOW if you don’t want to know.


I’m not an expert in chimerism, mediastinal masses, graft-versus-host or malignant haematological disease* but I know how to read graphs and…


Stay calm. Try to remember that whatever the risks of having a transplant chances are nil if you don’t.


At least the scary discussion with the transplant team won’t be such a shock. But note to self,

no more Drdr google


*If you want further information on any of the medical terms please visit The Hodge information page.


    1. Dee

      Hi. Yes, I should really know better. Fingers crossed that it isn’t as bad as Dr Google makes out. Thank you for getting in touch and reading my blog. Dee


    1. Dee

      Hi. Yes, stats may lie & be twisted. But the numbers never do. Reminds me of an Agatha Christie story I read as a girl called And Then There Were None. Only in my scenario it would be called: And Then There Were Four (or sometimes five).

      Liked by 1 person

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