The shock of diagnosis was awful and dealing with months of chemo brain and chemo crashes was the best I could manage. Once recovered I looked up all I could about Hodgkin lymphoma, stage 4b and all those unfavourable factors they said I had. Dr Google wasn’t reassuring but I hoped for the best, returned to work and got on with life.
Less than a year later I relapsed. I didn’t visit Dr Google again but with HL2’s harsh, toxic regimes I assumed that the slim shot narrowed and I didn’t want to know how much. It was harder to dust myself off the second time but I eventually grew stronger, returned to work and felt good. I thought I might get lucky.
Nope. HL3 – the third time in three years. Not looking good.
Others warn me a difficult discussion with my transplant team so today I consulted Dr Google to prepare. Limiting myself to reputable sites I looked beyond the general information to primary research. I knew I wouldn’t find the real answers I sought – whether I will survive or for how long. It would not – could not – tell me whether the benefits will outweigh the sacrifice. I cruised straight past the warning that said STOP READING NOW if you don’t want to know.
I’m not an expert in chimerism, mediastinal masses, graft-versus-host or malignant haematological disease* but I know how to read graphs and…
Stay calm. Try to remember that whatever the risks of having a transplant chances are nil if you don’t.
At least the scary discussion with the transplant team won’t be such a shock. But note to self,
no more Dr
*If you want further information on any of the medical terms please visit The Hodge information page.